Çocuk Psikologu

How can we discuss with the people we love within the framework of love, respect, tolerance, constructive and preserving your limits?

Like many things in today's conditions, it is a skill that needs to be developed to be able to discuss and maintain boundaries in the discussion with your loved ones. Couples, in particular, may have difficulty figuring out how to conduct a fair and positive discussion due to lack of communication and lack of skills.

So how can you argue with your beloved people in a civilized way, in a constructive and protected way, with love, respect and tolerance?

Tip 1: Get rid of anger and anger

When you are angry, you cannot make a healthy decision in solving any problem. So if you are angry with the person you are with, give yourself some time and wait for your anger to go away. Don't share with him what makes you angry until you're quite sure you're starting to calm down. Though emotions shared with a moment of anger do not reflect your true feelings about that person, they may be perceived seriously by the other person and may lead to distancing from you.

Tip 2: Never shout

Shouting during a fight is a form of physical violence. If the other person is afraid and cynical each time you raise your voice during the discussion, it means that you raise your voice to gain control over it. This power imbalance in the discussion will damage your relationship. It can be quite difficult to suppress your feelings when you are sad or broken, but shouting loudly with anger at someone else is a form of physical and psychological violence. You should never use violence on your partner for whatever reason.

Tip 3: Avoid threatening

Bluffing and threatening to break up with your partner so that the problems you experience in your relationship can be solved as you wish can result in you waking up alone in bed at a time when you do not expect it. Not every problem in the relationship is serious enough to end the relationship. In a real relationship, it is quite normal that there are points where the parties disagree. What is important at this point is to understand that these disagreements are due to personal differences and to accept the person as they are.

Recommendation 4: Be honest

Exaggerating, making false observations and lying makes your job easier in the short term, but will not contribute to the permanent solution of problems in your relationship. Therefore, you should try to be honest with the other person as much as you can. Honesty and trust are essential to a relationship.

Tip 5: Apologize where you need to apologize

Im I'm sorry. Orsa If it is very difficult for you, it is inevitable that you will have problems not only in your romantic relationships, but in all the relationships you have established throughout your life. You may have said the wrong words when you talked, you forgot to go to an important meeting, or you may have mistaken the other person inadvertently at a time when your emotions are intense. Making mistakes is one of the most natural elements of being human. At this point, the easiest thing you can do to make up for your mistake, "I'm sorry." What you're doing is to repeat the error and the next one will be to explain.

Every person is unique and different. Disagreements are therefore part of relationships and life.

Accepting the differences of the other person as they are, and not expecting people around you to think the same way by adopting that different ideas can be discussed is an indicator of maturity. Approaching differences as instructional experiences improves the quality of your relationship in the long run. Doesn't it seem a bit boring for you to spend time with someone who thinks the same, behaves the same and you always agree?

If you have problems with your loved ones, communication, harmony, conflict, problem solving, etc., even if you follow all these recommendations, seek professional help.

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